How to tell the kids

[dday101798]

Dan,

Patience is a very KEY word. Look at those of us who are in reconcilliation, the average is at the very least 18 months to 2 years before things start to come around (sincerely)! That's alot of time. And in that time, YOU are to quit fobbling over what she thinks and what she's doing. This is time FOR YOU. It's not a 100% guarentee things pan out that way, but, the more you focus on you and let her deal with her, the better chance you have. First and last time I'm saying it.

And for heaven's sake, you don't know what to do about finance information? Didn't we have this discussion? YOU SHARE NOTHING FINANCIALLY. NOTHING!!! Why in the hairy hell do you think she has an attorney and YOU have an attorney. Look, the direction your sitch is headed in right now, not good. Her head is swimming, and guess what, attorney's DO NOT help that one bit. Does a divorce attorney become one just because they like ending unhappy marriages? No sir. By nature, divorces especially where kids are concerned are nearly guarenteed to be a long drug out process for them to do their job. And what do you get for doing a job? Money. Look, even at the very start of my D, my (x)W's attorney took a look at me, and then a look at (x)W, all dratty, worn out, confused and in the clutches of OM. She approached me directly, her opposition, and said "I'm sorry I have to do this, your a nice man, but it's my job" And just this Sunday, (x)W who is dealing with her on a seperate issue broke the news that we are back together, getting remarried and expecting, and her attorney is delighted.

In saying that, it makes me think back on all the vile lies and stories those two cooked up in court to make me look horrid. And it will happen to you too. And that is where alot of LBS in you mindset end up straying the path, forgetting their WAS is not the person they've known for years and end up making some very fatal mistakes.

Back to the subject matter of the thread, the kids. Don't you believe for one friggen second the kids will be ok. They already AREN'T!!! Looks at the statement they made back at the beginning of this thread for their out look on life at the moment. Is that ok to you?!?!?!

My family, me, (x)W and kids are back together as best as possible, making the best of life, and I'll tell you, my kids STILL, are not OK. It's going to take years of instilling a sense of security back in them, that it is ok. It is going to take seeing (x)W and myself nuturing our new baby with all the love we can muster, to make it known it's ok. Hell, I got the ebbie-gebbies this morning when (x)W was all depressed looking because we've been a little sex starved since finding out we are pregnant and feels I don't love her enough because of that. I can only imagine what goes through the kids heads when they see it. They already freak out when there is the slightest disagreement, even tho (x)W and I know it's nothing major and not going anywhere, the kids still get very nervous.

Man, I don't know what else to tell you. IT WILL get ugly from here. You've been given all you need from here in. Share NOTHING divorce related with her. Quit the confrontations. Quit the how do I react. Keep it business like and polite and dodge relationship talks. You are being baited, time and time again, nature of the game and you are feeding her validation pool. And most of all, expect NOTHING. Expectation in these situations are the root of all failure.