Question

[awest1217]

Sorry CTH, but my definition of a family comes from my childhood, and with all I have been through i doubt it will change. A family is one that supports one another and is there for one another no matter what. H is never "there". He only does what is convenient for him, and that is just selfish.

So H comes over last night and doesn't even want to spend time with S. Tomorrow I am not going to be around! He went downstairs with S for maybe 10 minutes then came to find me. The rest of the night he did everything he could to hang out with me. We had pleasant conversation, but that is it. As he leaves he wants a kiss, and I just don't want one. I don't like him right now and don't want to be with him. I finally realized how he controls me and makes me do things I don't want to do and I am done with it.

Then H texts me about something this Saturday. My step-sister and her family is staying with me all weekend so I said waht about them and he said it would just be a few hours, but it is completely different from what MIL wanted to do. NOw it is an all day air show. It is supposed to be hot that day and it is in the afternoon. IF it was the morning I would be ok with it, but S is going to get hot and cranky, plus I don't think he will sit through hours of watching planes fly, but that could be the girl in me talking. I told H I am done being manipulated by him and his parents. I am tired of being the nice girl and making sure S has a good relationship with them. Tomorrow I am going to tell H to have a set schedule to see S and that is it. I am still fuming because MIL asked to take him to a balloon launch at night and a balloon glow, NOT a whole day event. I am so mad! I told H that I don't trust him and he is a bad dad, but he deserves to see his S. My dad was a bad dad, but I loved him and wouldn't have wanted to not seen him. He loved me a lot and never did anything mean to me so although H is a jerk to me, I have to be nice around S because S deserves to make his own decisions as he gets older.

I am just so mad and frustrated and sad and hurt. This is not the life I chose. This is not the life I wanted, but yet I am the one constantly punished for choices I did not make. It completely sucks! I am getting to the point where I really can't stand H and don't want to be around him. OW cut his hair again (I know because she does a terrible job), and I just don't want to be around him knowing she is still around. I think I will just tell H that tomorrow is him and S only and I am out. I don't want to be apart of their time. I don't want to be around him. All last night he kept saying things like "I will help you with that" or "I can make that if you want". I kept just saying I will think about it, but I don't want him involved in my life so I am not going to ask for anything. I said something about getting stuck on Thursday and he said I should have called him. I didn't say anything because I am not calling him anymore. I am done with him because he won't make a decision, but he can't get that through his stupid head. I AM DONE! I don't want to be with this guy who is unhealthy, weak, and immoral. I don't want to be with a guy who makes me feel horrible and manipulates me to do things I don't want to do. He is hanging on to a girl who he thinks I am, but i am not that girl anymore...I am a grown woman and I don't need him!

Sorry, but as you can tell...very mad this morning.