For men, falling in love seems relatively straightforward. It usually starts with physical attraction and/or infatuation, followed by an emotional connection, then attachment, openness, and trust and, as the relationship matures, companionship, a sense of responsibility, and dependency.
hmmm....guess you can still fall in love with 8/10 things, huh?
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Falling out of love is usually more gradual, complex, and unsettling, not just for its painful impact but because of the subtle, dimly understood reasons behind it. The thief who steals love away is sometimes another being who lives inside us. Often he is the child we once were and then abandoned prematurely. The thief is also the incessant voice of our masculinity, and our passive willingness to accept traditional male stereotypes.
trippy...the alien that takes over our Hs is real???MLC=dealing with inner child issues???
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It is as well the "binge and purge" values of popular culture; the struggle to find healthy role models; the conscious and unconscious behavior of our female partners; and, not least, the difference between how men and women learn, think, and communicate.
once we stop greeting them with a kiss, lighting up when they do stuff for us, take them for granted....but if we don't realize we are doing this because they don't communicate with us then how can we fix it????argh!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Newmama - yup - my H had issues with his mother. He came home one day from work about 1 year ago and said he phoned her to let he know he forgave her for abandoning him. Didnt realize it was such an issue until then. He spoke about it, and how it hurt him, but i didnt realize it was troubling him more than her verbalised..(She had back pain so was bedridden for most of his teenage years and he felt abandonded apparently...)
