I hate to dredge this stuff up but as I said earlier my research may be serving more to confuse me as "I'm not sure i'm finding anything that CLEARLY works'

I was reading some Harley on line and came across the excerpts directed at an LBH-
"The solution is for you to see to it that her relationship with you is painless and clearly in her best interest. You must eliminate every situation where she has been uncomfortable (including your trying to get her to stop talking to her friends), and replace it with things you do that meet her emotional needs. Granted, since she is in the state of Withdrawal, at first she will not want you to meet her needs, so she may not give you much opportunity. But the reason she is in Withdrawal is that you are doing and saying things that cause her to raise her defenses. Stop trying to straighten her out and start making her life enjoyable! Then she will lower her defenses, emerge from the state of Withdrawal and allow you to meet her needs."
"....observations that will help you see what it was that your wife is running away from. Find out what it is she is most afraid of if she would return. Perhaps she thinks you are responsible for her having lost her self-esteem, her identity, or being depressed all the time? If so, what does she think you could have done that would have prevented that from happening? Are you disrespectful toward her? Do you threaten her? Do you make demands? What do you do that makes her unhappy? Whatever it is, learn to overcome it. You need to understand what she is going through, and try to accommodate it instead of change it. Be her best friend, not her adversary. The child you have in common is an undeniable and life-long link to her heart that will bring you back together again if you demonstrate your care for her in the respect you show for her. In most cases I've seen like yours, wives are willing to talk to their husbands on the telephone because there is safely in distance. Call her regularly just to see how she is doing and ask her what you can do for her. When she is comfortable talking to you on the telephone, you may suggest seeing each other, but don't push. Let her take her time. Prove to her that you care more about her feelings than your own, and you will not do anything to hurt her again. "

To me, this feels what I would be doing when we are reconciling not in the current "stalemate".

Am I right?

And yes, I wish I could get cell phone intel (I want her TEXTS) and I'm trying. Closest I'll be able to do is track her vehicle and figure it out the hard way.

As I said, I'm feeling a little "drifty" tonight.

But I certainly don't intend to settle for BF as opposed to husband. I want some advice on stopping the cake eating, too.

Sorry if I appear to have taken 2 steps back but I don't see ANYTHING working.