You know we've been thru the war together man and I SOOOOOO happy to see you back. Your focus as you have admitted to should now be YOU and your kids.
Look man, our W's are gone. They are so freaking lost right now. We cannot help them. We made mistakes...we did..NOW we must learn from those mistake and make the changes in us that WE need to make. NOW IS OUR TIME. It is OUR LIFE. It is my friend what we make of it.
No bull this time...what do you want man.. I know you want those kids. Work towards that, do the right thing by them. If you do what is right it will NEVER be wrong. Being the best dad you can be is ALWAYS RIGHT. ALWAYS. Your W may not understand, your friends may not understand, other doctors may not understand, F it - some on these boards may not understand. Your kids though WILL and that is all that matters.
Now that you are back, you need to really focus on your healing man. You need to really live the life that you wanted to live. Am I saying that your W may never wake the F up. NO. What I am saying is that when you find your happiness, when you find your stride, when you find your place in this freaking world YOU and ONLY YOU will decide what your future holds. If your W comes back you will be in a much better place emotionally to deal with her. First though...and here is the hard part...you need to deal with your issues. You need to sort thru the guilt of your role in the break up of the M. You need to own it, you need to feel it and you need to remember it. Why remember...very simple so that YOU do not do the same thing again. So that you carve out and throw out the behaviors, the actions that lead you to this point.
Brad - one of the hardest things that I have had to do (and FTR - have not perfected yet) is to forgive. Forgive..my friend..not only your W but forgive yourself. I know you feel the loss of your W. Hell I still feel the loss of mine. This feeling must NOT cloud your actions, it must not cloud your thinking about the kids. Separate the kids from your W. They are two different R's.
Finally, I love ya dude.. we've held each other up on more days that I can choose to remember. We've gone thru the anger, the hurt, the disappointment, the feelings of abandonment. We have gone thru a ton of emotions. GUESS WHAT.........??????
Now the real hard work begins!
Glad your back dude!
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
