The journey begins

[ClingingToHope]

It is complicated. She has way more in her retirement accounts than I do and we paid her car off a couple of years ago and I still have a hefty payment. I even remember thinking how dumb this was to do in case we get divorced.

So by all rights she should owe me a huge chunk of change -- but that's where this debt comes in. She keeps buying herself new wardrobes and furniture and stuff for the house in the vain effort to sell it and she's tacking it onto her side of the ledger.

Meanwhile they are saying only the debts I had when I left should be included.

It's really stupid and if I went to court on it I'm pretty sure I'd end up with a bigger settlement.

BUT that would cost a few thousand more and perhaps cause other fights on things we've already agreed.

I'd really rather just take the money and run, but only if it's after tax money. If she does a QDRO and takes it out of her pension or 401(k) then I have to put it in a qualifying retirement account or pay taxes and penalties on it.

So that $10,300 would all of a sudden be $6,000.

So what I want to know from my L is if we can stipulate it's after tax money.