At the end of last week, I purchased three DB coaching sessions, but I have not yet scheduled a time to talk to the coach. I've considered it many times but never did it. I figured I had nothing to lose at this point!
In the past week, I've experienced a wide range of emotions about my possible divorce. I've had these thoughts:
*He wants a divorce? Fine! He can have one! He'll regret it one day. *There's still hope for us. I won't give up. *What is WRONG with him? He can't really want this! *Do I REALLY want to be married to someone who would put me through this? *I can fix this. I don't know how, but I can fix this. *How could he be so disloyal? How could he cut and run? *Everything happens for a reason, right? Well, I'd LOVE to know the reason for all THIS! *Should I just let him go and move on? *Friends tell me to "do what is right for me." What if I don't know what that is, even after I ask myself repeatedly?
Am I being optimistic by continuing to hope for reconciliation? Am I being optimistic by still believing that the marriage could be saved?
Or am I crazy for having the foolish hope that this will not end in divorce? Am I crazy to think that H will change his mind and want to work on our marriage?
If you ever read my thread (and I mean if you just stop in to see what my father has said), then I would LOVE it if you would PLEASE post your thoughts. I get lots of comments and advice from family and friends, but they can't see past what would make things easier for me in the short term.
