Regarding the Backstreet Boys comment: She spoke in a huffy, disrespectful tone and I calmly replied with my quote with a little intention of making a joke about it -- i.e. "What else do they have going on these days?"
I try always to suggest fun things to do with the kids and stay active. I want to take my kids everywhere, and I try to make it fun for everyone. I will say it's a "challenge" at times to always be Tigger. I am by no means Eeyore and moping around with a defeatist attitude, but sometimes Tigger has dirt kicked in his face no matter how chipper he is.
My personal T viewed it this way (I would love your reaction): She said that a while back my W was all about getting out of the M and that's all she wanted and there was nothing else to think about. It was all about ending the M. Now she's seen me for a longer period of time as a more positive, fun and dedicated H and F. She also sees how attached the children are to me and how much I am to them. She went almost a week of being generally positive and then the darkness crept in this weekend. My T believe she is frustrated because she is even more confused. It seemed easy a few weeks/months ago, and now it's not. She has been talking and talking about S, telling other therapists that she doesn't want to work on the M, texting me to ask to have an "important" conversation at night, and yet there is still no action.
She may see how much I am needed (or maybe it's better to say "useful") around the house and perhaps that is something she's wrestling with.
I am going to try to acknowledge any kind gesture she makes from now on with little comments showing I appreciate and acknowledge what she did (if anything). Nothing to heavy, but enough for her to know my eyes and ears are open. I have been focused on detachment and letting her feel like I have moved on emotionally and always going about my own business, but perhaps it's better to make little comments when something positive takes place.
