WAW EA told her to leave

[DangerDave]

6/21 Monday gym class where the “former” OM instructs – well she was up and out at the usual time and I didn’t see her until I got home from work that afternoon. I resolved myself to not asking anything about the gym – it’s a trust and control issue for me and well frankly I’m not dwelling on it any longer. If she brings it up great, if not it’s a dead issue and I will just have to watch for signs/signals that indicate a positive or negative impact on the R. ( update to today, same scenario, she threw subtle, ok blunt clues out there that her Monday routine would not be including his class, so I think my “trust” in her may be working here to a certain degree). Rest of evening was pleasant.

6/22 Well Tuesday was a bit of a setback for me but I do believe I saved it in the end. That afternoon she headed out to the grocery store and was gone much longer than normal imo – control again there from me. Dinner time was rolling around and I looked into her phone records online and noticed that she had been texting one of her friends (that I know) for about 45 minutes continually and could not have been shopping very hard. I have to stop and will looking at those damn phone records – it gets my mind racing in way too many directions – none of them good. Anyway when she finally got home ( I left for a drive to cool off) and I returned, I was a bit more than short with her and she did pick up on it right away. I had a meeting to go to so I left early myself and said I was going to do some clothes shopping before I got to the meeting (180 and for ME). She was a bit upset about that, as she is about the whole new wardrobe thing, but heck I gotta look good at all times right? Got home that night around bedtime, I did look her up and said that I apologize for being “irritable” when she got home – another 180 for me, and we went to bed.

6/23 Wednesday afternoon when I got home I was putzin around the kitchen when she asked me what I was irritated about the night before. I just said that I didn’t eat right all day and was hungry, the kids then asked about dinner and I hadn’t even thought about having to cook for them and was upset that I hadn’t thought about them – so kept it all on myself. She said she thought it was something she did - well I think she was really trying to set me up for an argument about control, her “extra” time out shopping and monitoring her phone – so I ducked all those issues and flew under her radar there.
Whew – another day to fight the good fight!

Later that afternoon she was starting to plan some future weekend events and the like and I realized that I needed to get the concert out on the table – didn’t want her scheduling something that would negate her going. So I told her I had bought myself an early b-day present and that I would like her to go with me if she wanted – showed her the tickets and asked if she wanted to go and got a “possibly” from her. Better than a no or I’ll let you know, so thinking I’ve got some more “evaluation” time of my 180’s and GAL’s before she commits – fine for now. She did want to know when I bought them and I told her, it was week or more before we were intimate, so she knows that wasn’t a trigger for the purchase – good thing there I think as that would throw me into pursuit mode in her mind imo.

6/24 Thursday got a shot out of the blue – she thought it would be a good idea to plan a family vacation, to my relatives about 15 hrs north of us. This would be the first trip for anyone but myself to go up and see them for I would say at least 5 years or so. Not sure if it’s a farewell tour she has in mind or what. My mothers in so-so health and it would also be the last time all 6 of use could easily manage a trip for that many days (5) all together for some time with our S22 heading to grad school down south this fall and our other college student D19 is spending her last summer at home this year. What’s the motive I’m not sure, it’s not the best family vacation we could take but it is a trip for all of us – she did ask though if only my brother (also up there) was the only one that knew what was going on between us, I said yes and ended the R talk at that period. We’ll have to see how that plays as I told her that I would need to get the plane tickets purchased fairly soon before the rates went up much more. I would like to do a different trip myself as finding things to do in Seattle with four kids for five days could be pretty stressful for both of us and could lend itself to a setback if not extremely careful.

6/25 Friday was play night for our D15 and I went alone as W was needing to roll out the next morning at 3am to ride her century a few hours away – no big deal really. I was seated next to our D15 friends mom – single and very attractive as well, turned on my “interpersonal skills” and got to know her pretty darn well in the next two hours – nice to know I still can turn on the charm! Was a good ego boost really and made me feel pretty good that no matter what happens with our R, I still got what it takes when the opportunity arises – self serving I know but what the heck! W was asleep in bed when I got home, stayed downstairs with the kids for a while before turning in.

6/26 Saturday – bike ride for W and me busting my butt doing a much needed bathroom remodel! Started around 8am and finished up around 7:30pm. Bath came out great, phase 1 anyway and will be all downhill from here, I love this kind of work, and it’s hard as heck but so rewarding when you’re done! She got home around 8pm or so, normal and got the whole rundown of the event. I made no big comments on my day, just worked on the bath – she went up and said that it looked very nice – didn’t expect anything more than that as the gingerbread hasn’t been started, just the rough stuff.

I was watching a movie when she got home which I stopped so I could hear about her day, once she un-winded, changed and came downstairs she sat on the couch and I started it back up, she was beat, so I just started rubbing her feet for her (again no resistance) through the end of the movie – she fell asleep a few times which I expected. Movie was over and we headed to bed.

6/27 Sunday morning in bed, I was rubbing her back a bit and really didn’t get any signal to go any farther so I left it at that. We had a pretty relaxing day, later that morning I had to install a new dishwasher that we bought earlier that week together – out of her “funds”. After that we hung out by the pool, and at 45 with her new “biker butt” she still looks hot as hell in a bikini – told her that too! We had some good conversation at the pool, she brought up the trip up north and waiting a bit to see everyone’s calendars before buying the airfare. I told her that the trip was her idea – so just let me know what was up. I threw in later maybe something more fun for the family so I think there’s more discussion on that coming up.

Later that evening we were talking about Dr appointments and schedules and she mentioned the kids upcoming and also that she had scheduled another appoint with an IC for herself again on the 8th of July. This will be the 3rd one she’s seen, one well before the bomb and the second after – I’m not sure what she’s trying to figure out. The first two have told her what she wanted to hear – that she should get out of the relationship, so this will be either the 3rd times a charm or 3 strikes and you’re out – have to wait and see – I know I dread the 9th!

Also of an interesting note, I had purchased a relationship book by John Grey (Men/Mars Women/Venus) “What you Feel you can Heal” at the start of this whole episode, I read it cover to cover and highlighted the whole thing, based on my personal insight into myself. It’s been in our family room for the last two months, it’s now on her nightstand and it looks like she’s about a 3rd of the way through it – as she knows I make the bed everyday, I’m sure she wants me to notice it’s there – she even moved another book that was on top of it the other day as well to make sure it was on top of her reading list for me to see – not sure if I should comment of just let it be?

The plot thickens every day!

Thanks and I look forward to everyone's comment's and advice!!

DD