Heartbroken and needing help!

[irishblessings]

Thanks Jack and Mach - needed those perspectives.
I have spent a lifetime avoiding becoming bitter - I have always been one who can make the best out of any situation. Much of that ability - I thought at one time - was because of the strength I found in my marriage. It doesn't work now.
I still go back to the mirror - I don't want to see a bitter person. I don't want to hate - I don't want to be considered weak for standing for my marriage. I really don't want to be controlling! Most of the time I don't even recognize that I am being controlling. I have found myself withdrawing quite a bit from social situations lately - I'm just not ready - don't have my balance back yet.

Since his ILYBINILWY speech - I have heard him say - I am NOT staying married to you. Is that really asking for space and time? Doesn't matter - today, I am not filing for D.