BUt the point is still made, that you suspect something... and that keeping secrets destroys marriages.. the phone exchange is just a trick to educate your H a bit about how secrets damage marraiges.. you want him to hear that part.. its important
And if you do this for two weeks and he complies happily thinking he has you fooled you hit him again :
"Ok, this seems to give us both some more security.. how about how we share our passwords for all of our accounts?"
You tell him the deal is the same, you both share passwords for accounts and the other person can log in at any time they like...
INCLUDING his cell phone records...
BOOM!
This could get interesting! The only thing I have in the back of my mind is, I already told him weeks ago that I was "done with snooping... that I could not control him if he decided to do something detrimental to our marriage... that it was on him" wouldn't all of this contradict that? If I can find the exact email exchange, I'll post it.
Hmmm...interesting phone conversation with H just now. He called to ask about our son's plans and then asked if I was going to my counseling appt - and that I should just set something up for him so he can "go talk to these people and see what they suggest we do." I told him I would send him some information but he said for me to go ahead and set it up. Hmmm.... I guess I will! He sounded very business like about it all but I guess it's at least good that he is thinking about it all. The weird thing is, he is acting like he wants a decision on this whole "should we stay together thing" right away. ???
yup... it may be OW telling him to do this to keep you quiet...
Re your email you sent earlier you just tell him your FT told you otherwise..and I think you konw what you told him earlier was a bad idea, it signs off on the cheating
Tell him he is welcome to ask again at any time in the future when the mood strikes him and you will hand the phone over to him without the slightest problem...tell him its a loving jesture and builds trust...
He will probably drop a jaw at that and walk away.. but you have made your point...
And if you do this for two weeks and he complies happily thinking he has you fooled you hit him again :
"Ok, this seems to give us both some more security.. how about how we share our passwords for all of our accounts?"
You tell him the deal is the same, you both share passwords for accounts and the other person can log in at any time they like...
INCLUDING his cell phone records...
BOOM!
This could get interesting! The only thing I have in the back of my mind is, I already told him weeks ago that I was "done with snooping... that I could not control him if he decided to do something detrimental to our marriage... that it was on him" wouldn't all of this contradict that? If I can find the exact email exchange, I'll post it.
Yep. And if he brings that up, you say "I know; I changed my mind."
yup... it may be OW telling him to do this to keep you quiet...
Re your email you sent earlier you just tell him your FT told you otherwise..and I think you konw what you told him earlier was a bad idea, it signs off on the cheating
It's NOT on him..its on the WHOLE FAMILY...
Well, he also tends to talk very business like about most things when he's at the office, actually. I don't know. I don't know why anyone would need to keep me quiet - I've been quiet as a church mouse! lol
In the email I told him that inappropriate relationships of any kind were destructive to both our marriage and our family... I didn't say that "you can do whatever....I don't care." Does that make sense?
Anyway, I guess I really need to make sure I have a good therapist to work worth here...so getting on that.
