I know Gatsby, makes no sense at all! Sounds like we are in the same boat!
Baby furniture delivered today! Things are finally falling into place for the little guy! H was at the house waiting for them to bring the things in! Cradle is in place, crib and bedroom furniture in place, some clothes washed, and the rocking chair comes tonight! Wow! this is for real!!!
Talked briefly to H and said guess this is it... for me and you? No turning back right, this is what you want? How you wish for our son to be born? without us as a family... He talked about how he plans to be there to help me so much along the way. SAid its me that has the hard time being friends... um... yeah! Said I guess I always thought something along the way would have trigger an emotion in you, spending time together, getting baby stuff done together, even the birth? he said how do you know the birth wont do that, i replied with well as long as you close up your heart and dont open yourself up to the opportunity that you could possibly feel something for me, then it wont happen. i believe in that stuff, if you dont open your heart to the possibility of falling in love with me again, it wont happen. That is your decision. Its entirely up to you. He shook his head. looks like i really stunned him...
oh well... today... i am letting go and letting God take over!
