FFH to W: "You lied to me when you said you would do whatever it takes to save our M. I know that you contacted OM and that is unacceptable to me. I am stepping up our pace to D b/c you will not fully commit to us. I have decided that if you are not all in, I am out."
WARNING, ffh:
Your wife will probably have one of three responses:
1. She'll own the contact, express remorse for it, and re-commit to doing "whatever it takes," in which case you can NOW be ready with your short list of "dealbreakers".
2. She'll SPEW, saying "See, this is why I can't stay married to you, you're SO CONTROLLING, and YOU INVADE MY PRIVACY!" etc. etc.
3. She'll SPIN, saying "Yes, I contacted OM, but only for 'closure' and to tell him that we needed to keep our relationship professional only, because I was trying to work on my marriage.
You need to be prepared with what you will say for all three.
Puppy
So what will you say?
1. W, my definition of "all in" is x, y, z.
2. W, I'm sorry you feel that way. A week should be plenty of time for you to find a place and move your things. Let me know how I can help.
3. W, then you won't mind if I confirm that with a follow up phone call. I have the number.
No negotiating. Yes, make her put on the BGP! Do not enable this bad behavior...our of respect for your family. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
