"FT told me one of the first things we need to do is stop secret keeping - that its marital cancer. Here is my cell phone (put it on hte table) feel free to have a look and let me know when you are done... can you hand me your cell phone please?"
YOu can add in "this is a healhty exercise, I don't think it will take long" making it sound trivial like yo udon't suspect anything...
If he refuses you have your answer...
Just tell him
"Well.. If you don't share your phone I have to assume youa re cheating on me... having a sexal or emotional affair... So you should hand me the phone just be safe please..."
Keep pushing him and make sure he knows what he's TELLING YOU when he refuses... Each time he says no you inform him what he SAYS when he's sayin "no"
No in this case doenst' just mean no it means "no i have something to hide from you that I want to keep secret that will hurt the marriage"
I may have to work up the nerves for this one, but it's a good idea. Of course, he would probably say that I have advanced notice and a chance to delete anything off my phone so it's not fair. Of course, I have nothing to hide and am not the one acting weird...but I can see him using that as some sort of justification.
