Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

It's a cycle for me, too. Depression, numb, hope. I have random suicidal thoughts, but never actions. I just want this whole situation over with, either by H coming back or me dying. H returning is the preferable ending. When I was PMSing a couple weeks ago, the suicidal thoughts were much more rampant, as was the depression.

I'm going to see how the week goes before deciding if I'll see H's family this weekend. It also depends on if one of them calls and invites me, I'm not going to go party crashing. They'll all have the chance to see DS, H is taking him Friday morning until sometime Saturday. If I'm up to it, I may call SIL and see if she and I could meet together to talk while she's in the area, too.