....going on 18 yrs of marriage, with two boys, 12 and 14, i can finally say that the sexual part of my marriage is dead--and it's been dead for at least 9-10 yrs.
....i tried everything.
....there just is no room for her to be a wife: there's only room for her to be a mom and a career woman.
I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you.
I was married for 38 years before I finally decided that things needed to change. For decades my wife had been angry with me for (in her mind) my not supporting her when our two children were young and she was an overwhelmed young mother.
What I learned through advice on this forum the MWD book SSM, Sue Johnson's Hold Me Tight, Chapman's book the Five Languages of Love, Robert Glover's No More Mr. Nice Guy, John Gottman's the Seven Pricipals for Making a Marriage Work, and one incredibly skilled Sex Therapist was that my wife and I really loved each other, we just had driffed apart, she had deep feelings of anger toward me and we really didn't know how to express our love for each other in a way that made the other feel loved.
You say you have tried everything. Have you tried sex theapy with a board certified sex therapist? Have you tried either one of Sue Johnson's or John Gottman's Couples weekends (there are lots of other great programs)? In the spirit of MWD, what 180's have you tried with your wife? What accomplishments have you reached in your program to Get a Life (GAL)?
If you haven't tried all of the above, there still may be hope. I really thought that I was going to be either filing for divorce or doing a trial separation about now, when I joined this forum last winter. My wife and I are now closer than we have ever been. It has been emotionally hard on both of us, but we both feel it was worth the pain.
Don't give up hope.
Good luck to you and your family.
Last edited by Young at Heart; 06/28/1004:18 PM.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
