W asked Fri. nite what I had going on for the weekend. I said nothing special, why? She said she had to work at her parents church picnic on Sat. after work. This is something we had done together for the last 16 years. I said that's fine, the kids and I will find something to do.
So, on Sat., we went to the park, played, rode bikes, went fishing, and went swimming at the neighbors lake. Got home around 9:30, gave them showers, made some popcorn while they watched TV, and I got in the shower. W came in while I was showering and said something about it being hot outside. I got out and went and watched TV with all of them. W asked what I had going on on Sun. IDK, why. She had a bridal shower to go to for her cousin. She said she could take the two little ones or all of the kids if I had plans. I said I don't think any of them would really have much fun at a bridal shower, we would be fine. You go do your thing, we'll do ours. We put them to bed, and I went to bed.
Sunday, she txtd me from work, the same thing she asked me the night before; I can take the kids with me...... didn't know if u had plans. I ignored it. She txtd back a couple hours later when we got home from church; did u get my txt from earlier? I ignored it again. She txtd again in an hour or so; r u there? What r u guys doing?
I said we r eating at such and such restaurant, the boys served at church and everyone was very good so we went out to eat. She said don't charge it, we r low on money. I will take care of it. What r u going to do today? I told her we would find something fun to do.
So, we went to my sister's house. She has a son the same age as the twins and a girl the same age as D6. We went swimming, played ball, BBQ'd, played the Wii and just relaxed. W txt at 4:30, I just got home and am making supper. r u guys coming home? No, we r eating here. Kids r swimming and playing. Okay, she said.
We got home at 9:30, got the kids ready for bed, and I told her I was going to shower. I did and went to bed.
I am not mean or anything, but not giving any more info than I need to. I am not trying to make small talk or ask her anything. She has made it clear to me she doesn't want to work on the M. She doesn't go out or stay out late with her school board buddies or party during the week anymore. Those boundaries are being respected. Things at home are a different story. I am cordial to her but don't seek her out for anything. She is friendlier with the txts and that is a small improvement from not telling me anything or answering my txts. It's not nearly enough, though.
Am I on the right track here? Are these baby steps, or am I just giving her the time she needs to get her sh!t together to leave? Don't know, but it does take a lot of pressure and stress away from me and the kids.
