Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

I've been praying for strength, patience, wisdom in how to deal with this situation and help with letting go. I don't ask for much, do I?

Feeling oddly detached from life today, numb to things. Guess I hurt and cried so much last week that this week I need to shut down so I can recover a bit. The incessant nagging to call SIL has gone away, perhaps because the decision has been made to go ahead and call her, just don't know when to do it. H's entire family is coming up this weekend for the holiday, I know at least one SIL told me they're expecting to see me, but that was back on Mother's Day, not sure if it still is true.

H texted me at twenty of ten last night. Turns out he just wanted to ask how DS was doing, said DS wasn't feeling good earlier that day. I told him DS was fine and refused to let me out of his sight all day.