That was me just talking big, Allen. I meant down the road ... I'm not at that place yet. Just meant I may not be able to take several years of this and am afraid I'll give up. BUT... one day at a time! That's all I'm trying to accomplish at this point. Thanks for the link.
Honestly, I've known things were wrong in our marriage for nearly two years, and thought things were a bit 'off' for at least a couple years before that... I just never expected to have it get this far. I thought (naively) we could, together, work out whatever got in our way, but bad communication just generates more of the same.. as the computer adage goes: Garbage In = Garbage Out
I hope that by doing what I'm doing now, not only will I get my life back on track, but that my H will stop the cycle, reboot, and re-install.... (gee, look at me carrying on with the computer reference. )
Anyway, Sunny, you'll be surprised what you can endure when you didn't think you could, and what you have already endured without realizing it. I'm just coming to learn that.
I'm sure you're right EC! I know one thing, I am trying my hardest to not be a doormat. I feel I cave at times, but I don't think that gets us anywhere. I LIKE your new attitude... it's truly what you have to do: plan and live your life without worrying about H. I KNOW how sickening it must be to read those words to OW over and over. Now that you are moving out and moving on, no use doing that to yourself anymore. You've got enough proof.
)