Re-Connecting

[TimeHeals]

Pass the above by your IC and demand to know why he recommended this MC, BTW?

Ask your IC how to report malpractice and how these things are usually handled.

[TimeHeals]

Man, this claim that an MC would say an EA is OK is burning me up!

Is a PA that started while you were married OK too? Should we all live in open marriages?

What a nut.

Heck if this is all OK, then screw MC and just use the MC money to hire some nice call girls every now and then "while YOU work on your marriage". After all, it's OK.

[Greek]

I checked her phone and noticed the called OM first thing in the morning. Not sure how many texts I'm sure she deletes those.

FFH ~ that's contact.

At this point I don't even react anymore to OM calls.

You should be reacting. And trust me, as a woman, she totally notices that you are letting her get away with it.

Our MC didn't seem to concerned that W was having EA. He said when your seperated it's appropriate to have R outside of the marriage, WHATEVER!!!!

So you traded hard earned money for that bs. Let me tell you something, an EA for a woman is HUGE! It's EMOTIONAL and that's where most women connect most deeply.

Anyway, we watched the movie and I kept things fun.... We went up to bed and as I was laying there watching TV I got a text from W in next bedroom that said "the past couple of nights have been great, thank you"...

I hope you won't mind me speaking frankly - would you like to know why it has been so great? B/C cake tastes good. She has the security of knowing you are IN PLACE - there for her, financial security, not disrupting her life with her little one, pool, parents coming over, house, all in place. Plus, she can get her fix from OM - FIRST THING IN THE MORNING she's calling him! FIRST THING fix to make sure he is on the line, too. And if you start spinning up (which you don't), then she can just turn to him for support, emotional connection, sympathy, strokes. Added bonus, if OM gets bored with her little girl business, she still has you - plan B.

Still not sure what is going on with her but I don't over react to these anymore. Still a bit angry that OM is still in the picture, not sure how much more I can take.........

I'm CERTAIN what is going on with her. That you are "a bit angry" puzzles me. How much more you can take? Well, FFH, if you don't step up soon, like now, you can look forward to taking a lot more.

She said, "I will do whatever it takes"...nothing is being expected of her. How easy is that?!

Not that you should do what anyone else did, but let me just say that when I told Coach I wanted to work on our M, he laid it out for me what he would expect and so I knew. I also RESPECTED him that he said what he meant. Your W does not RESPECT you - calling the OM first thing at the beginning of her new day of "doing whatever it takes" is DISRESPECTFUL to you.

I'll put my 2x4 down now.

Greek

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Heck if this is all OK, then screw MC and just use the MC money to hire some nice call girls every now and then "while YOU work on your marriage". After all, it's OK.

Well, that's not HOW I'd recommend spending the money, but this IS one of the reasons why I usually don't even recommend bothering with marriage counseling when there's a third person involved. It's a waste of everyone's time, and the family's finances (unless insurance or EAP completely covers the cost). Even Retrouvaille won't take a couple for a weekend if one of them is still actively involved with an affair.

Puppy

[TimeHeals]

Well, that's not HOW I'd recommend spending the money,

I was being facetious. I almost choked when I read that nonsense about it being OK.

[DanF]

I LIKE the call girl idea. I may have to try that one MYSELF!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Well, that's not HOW I'd recommend spending the money,

I was being facetious. I almost choked when I read that nonsense about it being OK.

Oh, I know.

[Greek]

FFH to W: "You lied to me when you said you would do whatever it takes to save our M. I know that you contacted OM and that is unacceptable to me. I am stepping up our pace to D b/c you will not fully commit to us. I have decided that if you are not all in, I am out."

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Perfect.



Puppy

[Fightingforher]

I will definatley have this conversation. I'm proceeding with the purchase of the house and having W move out. I don't want my son around this tension and I think it would be for the best.

My main priority is him and I think it's time for her to as I think Puppy says "put on her big girl panties".

I agree that she is "eating cake" and I'm not ok with that.