I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[newmama]

It is so hard with a small child to let go of the rope completely because you have to talk to the WAS. You can't rely on your child to fill you in or give them a hug then send them in to their other parent. You have to fill the WAS in and let them know what is going on. If the WAS is trying to be an active parent, which seems rare, but does happen, then you have to talk to the WAS about your child. You never get to be "free". I think that is what is so hard; separating the parent from the love and R since you have to share your most precious possession with them, your child.[/quote]

YES. I am happy for S that stbxh is a regular part of his life. But if we had the traditional every other weekend, Wed night father visitation, it would be easier for ME to detach. (I think?) but having a child is not about our needs!!

[quote]For me, since I have dropped the rope more and more, and finally completely let go almost a week ago, H has had no contact at all with me, not even to know about S. I don't think unless his parents do something, he will ever see S again. Maybe that is another fear, that letting go will hurt the R with the children. Who knows, but at some point we all have to detach enough that we can move on without having the nagging hope that he/she will change their minds.

NAGGING hope is right....and awest, I hope you are wrong and that S will see his dad again. So sad!