W stayed in her room with the door shut this am until I left for work. I don't think I am going to say anything about anything for a while, but I have a hard time controlling myself.
I did get the e-Blaster software and saw that my sister sent W the following note:
Hi Brenda,
How are you doing these days?
You haven't heard from me because I was mad at you. I'm getting over that. I know this divorce is hard for you too. I don't want to know any details because I don't want to pick sides. I hope we can still be friends.
How did that Bullfrog sunscreen work for Ashlyn's face? I hope it was gentle enough for her. Maybe you decided it was to risky to try.
I'm spending so much time with school I don't have time for anything or anyone; not even Karl. I'm always crabby or crying because I'm so stressed out. I try to call mom once a week, and see her once a month but I don't always have the time for that either. I wish I could find a job so I could quit school. Mostly I miss having the time to come down to see Josh and Ash. They are growing up so fast and I feel like I'm missing it. I don't want them to think I don't care about them any more. I hope I have more than just a few minutes to spend with them when Dan brings them up on the weekend. I feel like school has ruined my life.
How is work going for you? I hope it's better than school is for me.
Tell the kids I'm looking forward to seeing them.
Debbie
To which I replied:
I'm not sure what you are doing with Brenda at the moment, but I would appreciate it if you didn't give her any support. I believe she is still carrying on her emotional (or perhaps physical) affair with another man. I am still trying to save my marriage and my family and I don't need my family members giving up on it this soon. It has only been 3 weeks since she filed. Please help me by not helping her at this time.
Whenever this thing is finalized or I have decided that I am completely done with this, then I would be ok with you contacting her.
Of course, you can do as you wish either way, but I am asking you to support me and my efforts for the time being.
In my opinion, Brenda never gave this a chance to get fixed. She didn't participate in counseling, she didn't want to work on improving our communication or needs expression skills or anything else. I also firmly believe that is due to the fact that she was having the emotional affair with Jim.
My 2 cents.
Hopefully that wasn't the wrong approach to take. I should probably be vetting more things with you guys before I do them. I always react so quickly.
I'm starting to feel that I should justa accept this and move on, which is how I know I am supposed to act, but if I get there, there may be no coming back.
