Tell me this....why am I so scared? Why can't I just lay it all out on the table to Gabe and let him do with it whatever he wants? It's on the tip of my tongue and I can't spit it out. My throat literally closes up. It doesn't help that I see him a grand total of about 30 minutes a day so there is not much time to sit down and have any kind of serious discussion except in the middle of the night. It may have to be at some crazy hour but then he'll be tired and not receptive to anything I have to say.
Grrrr....I'm frustrating myself. It makes me very angry with myself that I am such a danged wimp.
Have you considered that maybe the time hasn't been right? At some point you will have to talk, but maybe that point isn't right there yet? Guys think things through rather than talk them through. We women on the other hand NEED to talk (or we'll burst).
I think what is most important right now is that he IS thinking. He had to have time alone to come home and cry and apologize to you. He had to think it through.
Remember another thing, Mish, counselors only know what we are telling them, from our perspective. They haven't heard and don't know the other person's perspective. Her professional opinion is that you need to lay it on the line right now. But its only her opinion. She isn't the one you want to grow a relationship with - your H is.
Your S isn't a little child. You can talk to him and tell him that you honestly don't know what is going to happen but that you are both trying. HE would of course want his family put back together, but he is not stupid. Kids are far more observant than we think.
I think when it is time for that talk that you will know. When it is time you won't be afraid, you will just know it is time. No need to throw down the gauntlet before you, or he, are ready.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
