Originally Posted By: nlg
(in my mind) would be time for ML when we got back up to the room


OK pressure and controlling maybe???

Does this feel familiar? I don't know nlg it seems to me this is repeating probably old behaviors.

She is back but the problem is still there.

You can't talk your way out of something you acted your way into.

Quote:
you should be intuitive and know I’m tired, stressed out, etc


Listen to her...

Do you understand your W?

How do you feel when someone tries to control you?

I am not experienced with this low sexual desire part of a M but it does seem to me that you are letting YOUR agenda get in the way here.

Quote:
she said her feelings just haven’t come back for me (and that she has no “timetable” but that I need to be patient)


Can you be patient?

Look do you see there was no other place for this to go?

IMO this happend not because she doesn't want to have sex with you, it is because you are still the guy she ran away from.

You are still pushing your agenda.

Is it normal for a guy to want to have sex with his W?

Yup.

Is normal for you to want and need that in your M?

Yup.

This isn't about sex and desire nlg this is about how she feels about her relationship with you IMO.

You fix that FIRST then the rest...

Quote:
hardest thing for me is knowing that she had desire for someone else but doesn’t have it for me


Symptom of the problem my friend. NOT the problem.

You think just because she came back that all this magically goes away?

Ok she's back.

Does she want to be here? I think that is the first question.

IMO yes. She is reaching out to you in the best we she can.

She will not want to do that if she gets the same guy she has alway known.

If it FEELS like before.

If you meet her with guilt and complaint.

How would you feel?

I agree with Puppy your W should at minimum be willing to meet some basic criteria to show you she wants to work on your M.

What is that for you and her?

Have you talked about that?

Have you agreed on those expectations?

Is she still not wanting to go to MC or IC?

I remember giving you advice to take the pressure off stop looking at her through the microscope.

Look back at what happened...

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am