The journey begins

[Gardener]

CTH,Sorry you had such a rough one, today.

I spent the next 90 minutes on the phone with friends and then eating at another friend's house. Then I played a softball game with another friend who lives in our neighborhood and noticed a guy was mowing my yard. I told him the story and he said, "dude, you just got to move on."

Those outside of it can neither appreciate it or understand it. They just want your pain to end.

I feel like a chump.

You're not. You're decent and noble and have values.

I feel like I've been being lied to for at least a year.

You probably were.

Or I was just ignoring every sign blindly.

Maybe. Thinking the unthinkable is something we naturally tend to avoid.

I wish I had the strength to leave her years ago when I realized what a cold-hearted person she is.

I understand. But shoulda coulda woulda...you wind up "shoulding all over yourself"

But I made a pact or promise to fight the good fight thinking in the end effort would win out.

There's that decent, noble, values thing, again...

Yes. It will get better. I will get better. I will find someone better. It just hurts today and it hurts a lot.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes. I understand.
Cut your good, decent self some slack tomorrow and be good to yourself.
Peace,