1-Continue the work outs. Staring to feel better from it. 2-Set Boundary #1 tomorrow "In the future, I've decided that it will be the bare minimum to let the other parent know if D will not be sleeping in her own bed. (W and D were gone both nights this weekend. Not a single text.) 3-The next time W brings up Sep Paper or I discover a "monetary anomoly", I will say "I've been thinking about this. I think it's best if we create separate bank accounts and manually feed our shares of the household expenses into the joint account strictly for the home bills. I will continue to pay the household bills and you can still see the account to ensure it is all above board" (Give her a taste of how little money she'll actually have to live on after the Big D) 4 Get the GPS phone set up. Verify EA or PA.
Continue my GAL'ing. Continue my rediscovery of the "Old CD" (geez, that would make me 'vinyl')
Arthur: What manner of man are you that you can summon up fire without flint or tinder? Tim: I... am an enchanter. Arthur: By what name are you known? Tim: There are some who call me... 'Tim' Arthur: ...greetings, Tim the Enchanter.
Oh man, and I LOVED that movie, and I loved that scene! But all I ever remembered from it was "there are some who call me . . . Tim" line!
Hi all: So, I don't remember where I found it on this forum or who suggested it, but I went out and bought "No More Mr. Nice Guy"
HUGE IMPACT! This will REALLY help me get my own life in order.
Just want to say thanks.
I have more work to do.
I had a great weekend on my own. W just cam back with D for the switch. And I met Amanda. She seems genuinely nice. She certainly didn't see me as some kind of loser (presuming that's how W describes me)
W also seemed good. Amanda is driving her to a clinic as W may have broken her hand/finger. Accidentally closed it in her tailgate.
If anything develops when she gets back, I'll post again.
I was tempted to thank her for taking W to Edmonton (to see if there was any truth in the story) but thought better of it.
Can anyone tell me whether it will be beneficial or detrimental to DB'ing (ultimately to save my M) if I read Dr. Harley's MarriageBuilders and get familiar with hs concepts?
It clearly would help as part of the rebuildng process but I'm unsure of whether it would hinder "getting W to take a second look" at me and the M.
Opinions and advice would be appreciated.
I don't want to confuse myself or have too many "improvemnt programs and strategies" on the go at once. But I really want to understand the way we got to where we are and, if it happens, repair and prevent a repeat performance.
And another bedtime story for PDT (one of my favorites)
"'Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony." -Dennis
So, now that it's my week with Calla and I'll be home most of the time (have Thurs and Friday off-my parents' 50th this weekend), I'm thinking I need to get our finances separated. I can't stand the thought of her continuing to pile up debt (she's still buying smokes and gas and the account has been dry for two weeks) not to mention the chance she's spending it on "others" (I need that CC statement, too)
Any thoughts? Am I "pushing" the divorce or giving her a taste of how financially rough it will be?
Thanks, PDT. I'll have a look in stores. I looked hor the other and it appears online only unless I can find it used.
Sitch today- W came home and was trying to engage me. I wasn't rude but I just went along listening. Ironivcally, she was talking a lot about Candace *(her friend in mid-D) She apparently had a rough weekend. And W was trying to be supportrive and help her. Here's thye kicker- Candace is in MY position. HE wants nothing to do with her and she feels lost; empty and still loves him. She doesn't know how you get him back because HE won't talk about it.
Funny peculiar not funny ha-ha.
Weird.
I wonder if I can capitalize on that? Talk about their R and throw the odd "truth dart" in there.
Sometimes a third party can be a useful mechanism for getting some TRUTH thru to them. Just keep it short, and subtle. Don't overplay it. TRUTH DARTS. "Yeah, that's tough when one person does thus-and-such," etc.
