Yup, well, your husband's an addict, he's goign to say whatever he can to protect the object of his addiction... the fantasy is falling apart slowly... it does over time...
Have you seen the geurilla db video? Its a great tool to use to support exposure to yoru H's family members.. you just have to sit and watch this with your family members and THEN talk to them about supporting you.. It will do 80% of the work FOR you
Also, before NC - should I talk to H about visition with DD. I know that will give him a heads up of a sort that I'm planning to do something, but I know I can't take DD with me without telling him because that'll cause a hornets' nest of problems. I know he'll see her when MIL watches her, but should I try to hammer out something definite so I don't get constant messages from him asking where she is and what's going on?
I plan on letting DD call him whenever she wants to talk to him, which is what I do now when we visit my parents. I usually send him a text and tell him to call back to talk to DD and then I let her answer and hang up the phone without me ever talking to him.
Me 32, H 34, DD 3 M 6, T 8 Bomb 03/10 OW Bomb 6/5/10 Separate & NC 6/28/10 My 2nd EA Thread
OK - just had very brief talk with MIL... we're going to do what we can to make the house liveable, and we'll move there tomorrow. DD as been over there before, but she's been under constant surpervision when she's been there.
We're planning on getting it within decent living conditions and work on it from there.
MIL is as I thought, sympathetic, but can't bring herself to kick son out. As far as H's sister.. I'll work toward talking with her in the coming week.
Me 32, H 34, DD 3 M 6, T 8 Bomb 03/10 OW Bomb 6/5/10 Separate & NC 6/28/10 My 2nd EA Thread
EC, sounds like you have a good plan in place so that's good! I'm glad you are getting some support from H's family. I wish MIL would have the guts to kick him out but, being a mom, I can understand how difficult that would be.
Just worked on a Separation Agreement form. Think I'll provide it to him in email along with my letter, and let him know if he wants to discuss any part of the agreement, he needs to email me back, not call or show up and rant at me.
Does this sound like a good plan?
Last edited by elvencat; 06/28/1001:50 AM.
Me 32, H 34, DD 3 M 6, T 8 Bomb 03/10 OW Bomb 6/5/10 Separate & NC 6/28/10 My 2nd EA Thread
Just worked on a Separation Agreement form. Think I'll provide it to him in email along with my letter, and let him know if he wants to discuss any part of the agreement, he needs to email me back, not call or show up and rant at me.
EC, sounds like you have a good plan in place so that's good! I'm glad you are getting some support from H's family. I wish MIL would have the guts to kick him out but, being a mom, I can understand how difficult that would be.
Stay strong!!!
Thanks Sunny.. I'm fully prepared for this stage to last a long time. H has to do the dirty work of the divorce. I will not, and he knows that I will contest unless my two conditions are met and we still can't work out our differences. H doesn't like doing the work - planning it all out, he can do that all day long. When it comes to doing it, though, if he actually begins divorce proceedings once I'm out of his hair, I'll believe it when I see it. That will give me the time it takes to continue chipping away at the affair. I hope.
Or shoud I say - for others to continue chipping away at the affair.. as I'll be NC.
I'll be too busing working on making a nice home for DD and getting myself in shape and in a place to heal from this mess.
Last edited by elvencat; 06/28/1001:56 AM.
Me 32, H 34, DD 3 M 6, T 8 Bomb 03/10 OW Bomb 6/5/10 Separate & NC 6/28/10 My 2nd EA Thread
You do have the idea though EC, you sound solid... Most affairs don't last long and this one's got a lot of ugly business it has to face.. its not getting any support ... I can't see that affair lasting over long...
Once your H comes out he will take it from all sides I am sure... Try to get your H's sister to work on her mother along with you...
Don't forget to get child support etc... that should hit your H hard too...
I honestly see this falling apart if you can stay the course and avoid him... EVERYONE will know then... once the word is out you have moved out the exposure just takes an even bigger hit on the affair...
You can call OMW and tell her that her daughter's having sex with a married man and she should be very proud of herself...
Expose the OW at the uni I say.. hit her hard
PS : I will work on the link.. it works for some people... You may have to right click and just choose save as...
