I am so sorry for all the grief you are suffering right now. The car accident is just too much -- I really, really hope you are all okay. If you feel anything wrong, do not hesitate to go back to your doctor, right away. I hope the boys are faring better. I thank God no one was more seriously injured.
Your H... he is being so idiotically foolish... To be messing with pornography after all this -- it's just insanely stupid. He has a major problem and he needs help. Porn addiction is a serious matter, one akin to other psychological addictions.
I know you have been trying so hard to meet him halfway, to work things out. I hear your frustration level rising beyond measure. But what do you want to do? Have you worked anything out yet in your mind for trying to resolve this? Such as IC for your H?