I think this is my home for the next 6 months...

[beingreal]

Let me say again how sorry I am to the good people here, but being away from him has shown me how good life can be. I can see how awful it was. I don't know if he is ever going to change--but I do know that I'm not going to live like this.

I'm not standing. I'm not waiting. This is over. Really and truly over. With every fiber of my being I can tell you that I did everything I could. I waited longer than I should have & fought for us more than anyone could have expected.

This relationship isn't healthy. I have no hopes for a reconciliation. I'm honestly afraid of him.

But I'm not leaving here, either. I honestly think you guys are the only reason I didn't sucked back in when he tried.

I'm alive because of you all.

You can't get rid of me that easily.

[seeking answers]

BR, Only you know when you're done standing.

Glad you will be sticking around.

[beingreal]

I knew awhile ago, SA. I just didn't know how to say it. I hate to think that my calling it over & filing will hurt some people here. I am not a DB success in the terms that I got my H back & outlasted his MLC.

I am proof that there is a life beyond this hell we are going through. Doing the work on yourself is the right thing to do. Building a life that you like--by yourself and for yourself--is the best way to ensure that you WILL be happy.

It won't matter if the MLCer ever comes out of it.

Because you will have made it through it.



Perfectly imperfect.



And ready to live life.



Thank you.

[courageous wife]

(((BR)))

You know what is best for you and the kids!

Frome reading your thread and the strength you have shown I know you will be just fine!

Glad you are sticking around too!

[seeking answers]

BR,

Just like other things in life, standing is not for everyone. Some LBS have no desire to outlast their spouse's MLC.

Most here come to realize that DBing isn't about saving the marriage, it's about saving yourself. You've done that and are continuing to do that, so you are a success. If your H decided to return and you let him, it would have been a by product of the work you've already done.

You don't have to worry what anyone else thinks, only what's right for you and the children.

I'm going to venture to say that no one on this board will judge you or try to change your mind. It's your decision.

I'm sure you've thought this through and come to your decision with strength and clarity. When you're done, you're done.

I wish you all the best!

(((Hugs)))

[PEI]

Shelbel ... you ARE standing ... for yourself and your children, and that my friend, makes you a DB success by anyone standards. (((hugs))) You are amazingly strong and have so much to offer, never settle shelbel :o)

PEI

[Truegritter]

I hate to think that my calling it over & filing will hurt some people here.

I cannot think of a reason why anyone would think this Shel.

You HAVE come so far...

You ARE a success.

And

An inspiration.

I hope that you do stay and continue to help others.

I want to thank you for walking along side of me on this journey.

Keep on moving forward.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

I am not a DB success in the terms that I got my H back & outlasted his MLC.

First off you are feeling a little sorry for yourself, so...I'll go lightly.

The goal...if you wanted to be married...and all the newbies do...admit it newbies! Admit it! is to be: Married.

Eveyone here...everyone, typed in: Save my Marriage on a search engine and found themselves here.

So the goal in MLC to be married is outlast their marriage.

But that was NEVER the definition of success.

Becoming a better person IS the deffinition of success.


IF my MLC wife came back to the same idiot self serving man-child I had been? Would THAT have been a success? First off...I would NOT have been capable of making it through pie(R)cing so that marriage with that 'old' Jack would have been doomed.

I CHOOSE to take my wife back and work through it becuase of the success 'I' had become.

Understand?

So you get a pass on the whole you aren't a success at DBing Shel, and I'm going to call you Shel...because you are thinking the old way with that.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Ahhh #$%#@$%!!!!

#$$%%

So the goal in MLC to be married is outlast their marriage.

idiot Jack.

SHOULD BE:

So the goal in MLC to be married is outlast their MLC.

Well I guess some people try to outlast their marriage too.

[Truegritter]

BR

I just was reading through my thread and remember this day?

We kept questioning it, and we kept getting told, "you'll know when you know". Now we know what that actually means. And we know.

I'm happy that you are here. I'm happy that I am here. I'm happy that there are more of us *right here*.

I'm sorry that any of us have known such heartache, but so grateful that I have learned such an important lesson about life, and love & myself.

Maybe this was necessary. Maybe my H & I were never meant to be together forever, I'll never know & I can't second guess God's plans for me. But if this had to end, then I will be eternally grateful for the gift I've been given in the process.

How many people ever, truly, know who they are?

I will not ever regret my M or my H--I have been blessed in every respect; having known such a wonderful love, my children, a real happiness and now this. It's been difficult and painful, but it's still a blessing.

Sometimes God's greatest gifts are the hardest ones to open.

Are you f@cking kidding me? That is good stuff!

Good day my friend.

Don't lose this...ever.