WAW and me in 11th hour!!!!

[Ken62]

Well I got the official letter from the court yesterday that the D was final on 6/21/2010. XW has been gone for almost 3 weeks.

She sent me an e-mail after the first week about renewing Mobile Me for her and the kids. I sent a reply e-mail the next day asking for clarification and explaining how I thought it should go. She called my cell within 20 minutes and left a rambling voice mail and then 15 minutes later sent a text message that she had found what I was talking about and would be calling Apple. I felt good that she had sent and e-mail, called, left a VM and also texted me and I only sent one e-mail. A day after receiving the first one from her.

That Friday D20 and I headed back to my hometown to celebrate my M’s 80th birthday celebration with my 9 brothers and sisters! Updated my FB status before leaving and later that day XW commented on it. The family thought that was pretty odd. Had a great weekend though!

That Sunday was Father’s Day and I did get an e-mail from XW wishing me a Happy Father’s Day and hoping that I had fun with the family.

Went back and forth in e-mails with XW on things like insurance from her colonoscopy and her dentist visit. She also needed some files from our computer and I sent them to her. Her e-mails are very rambling and are like a brain dump with very few paragraphs. This is very unlike her and she also seems to be staying up very late based on the times of her posts to me and e-mails. Usually past midnight. When we were together she liked it when I was on business trips because then she could go to bed at 10 instead of 11 when I was around. It is really odd to see how late she stays up and her current writing style. Certainly a different person.

I had to go into the recording studio and record some Christmas carols and posted a FB status about that and she asked more about it in her e-mail. I think it is odd that she is seeing my status updates. I have blocked her so I don’t see anything that she has posted. She got a Mac Book recently and in her e-mail to me she made it sound like I should know this. I guess one of her recent FB status updates mentioned her new purchase but I never saw it.

XW went out with some mutual friends of ours before leaving town and she told them that she was possibly going to move back here with OM at the end of the summer. I really hope that it doesn’t happen. I would have no problem if she returned after leaving OM but please don’t bring OM back here and buy a house and settle down. I thought she wanted to be by her family back in the Midwest!

Not sure which area I should start posting my new thread in now that the D is final. There’s Surviving the Big D and Divorced, But Not Done. Any thoughts or suggestions?

I want to thank everyone here and especially the vets. Puppy, Sandi2, Robx, Gucci, Coach and Greek as well as many others have been a beacon of hope for me and as usual I wish that I had found you all sooner but I still think that D is what my XW needed. She needed the old M to go away and now that it has who knows what will happen. I will move forward and work on improving me and be the best Dad I can be to my three wonderful kids.

I hope XW will come out of her fog at some point but if she doesn’t, then that’s the way it is.

In hindsight, I wish that I hadn’t been so scared of XW. Fear is your enemy and I know that now. It makes you weak and pathetic and supplicating and NOT at all attractive. Appeasement does nothing but help the WA to cake eat. If you stand up for yourself and DO WHAT IS RIGHT, they may get mad and throw all kinds of spew at you but they will get over it and you will be all the better because of it. We all have to get there in our own time and in our own way but that is one area I wish I would have discovered sooner for myself.

Thanks for all of your prayers and help!

Ken