Again more open to me and happy to chat. Even did some gardening and fixed the toilet. Most of the time I kept out of his way and let him initiate contact and conversation, which he did.
A couple of things he told me historically I would have ranted at but remained calm and validated what he had said. This is the new me (or old me!) that confuses him. He is almost waiting for the angry wife to step forward but she's not there anymore. I can see him watching to see how I react. These are secrets he would normally not tell me i.e use of his credit card.
The children and I will be going away next weekend for two weeks. I told him and he asked about the holiday. He then helped me get the body boards and beach mats out. We haven't used the body boards since old family holidays 5 years ago. I was holding one in my hand and said' mad 40 year old on a body board and now a mad 50 year old'. He looked at me and said quite sadly 'I know'. I think us all going away without him has given him more food for thought as even our D who is at Uni is coming.
He was going watch a television programme with S13. H came into the kitchen and asked if I would be watching it with them in the lounge. I thanked him for thinking about me and went into the lounge where we chatted with S13 about the programme.
Usually when he leaves H always tells me he is going. Yesterday he didn't. After saying his goodbyes to the children he left. He wasn't angry I just got a sense overwhelming sadness about us being away for 2 weeks as a family without him. This is the reality of his current choice
Interestingly throughout the day there was a feeling of peace between us. It is almost palpable. I'm sure he can feel it as well. No anger, blame or suspicion just peace. This is very new and I have never felt it before. We are very easy in each others company.
I feel we are both moving forward on our journey. Him on his path and me on mine
