NEW LBH, What to do now?

[navajo]

Oh, one further note, I have changed my ways and am working on being a better person for myself and the kids. I was on the road to being a hermit (seriously). I have no real friends, wasn’t really interacting with my family when I came home, etc because I was hurting over work and financial stuff and didn’t want to burden her with it so I kept it to myself then it just became easier to just not talk at all. She asked my D the other day if I was really changing and she said yes, in a big way, and my W walked away and said “Well, it’s too F’in late”.





Hey Navajo,

Your sitch sounds alot like mine. This statement about becoming a hermit really hit home as I was on the same path. It is one of the signs of depression. I know you might not think it but work and financial stress can catch up with you. Since you were keeping all that to yourself you were probably shutting out your WAW as well making you emotionally distant. At least that was the case for me. See a Doc maybe get on some anti-depresants.

I was hesitant at first but I've been on them for 2 1/2 months and can say I feel 100% better than I did. It will help with stress and you will think more clearly and probably sleep better as well.

And on the financial stuff, consult a L. WAW's are not honorable, at least mine wasnt. Started out wanting nothing from me "I just want out". Now 3 months later she wants half of everything, the house and 100% custody of S11. Remember believe nothing of what they say, it's the fog.

Well, how to respond without seeming to be in denial (at least i don't THINK I am)...

I'm really not suffering from depression I don't think. I mean, I AM depressed and sad, but I shake it off when it hits and am carrying on. More outgoing at work and in public as well as with the kids, lost a ton of weight and am exersising regularly. I hear you though and I have been cautious about it since so far this year, life seems to be dumping on me pretty hard. I have asked my family and work friends to keep it honest and let me know if they think I should consult a Dr about it. I will definitely think on this though. Thanks!

As far as turning into a grasping WAW, I don't see it happening. The house was a fixer upper when we bought it and is currently in major need of repair and she can't make the repairs nor afford to have them done, so I don't think she will go after it. As far as money goes, I/we don't have any so it's not an issue! HA!

I hear you about the custody of the minor S though. Once her mom passes and we deal with all of that, I fully intend to get a legal doc signed by us both agreeing on joint custody with the kid's best interest in mind just in case.

Am I still in denial? I don't know. If this scenario plays out like you are warning, I guess I'll just be willing to listen to the "I told you so's".