Divorce in 1 month Help with exposing please need

[twolf]

Spot on Allen. Im not going to send them to her iv'e been doing allot of thinking now that ive detached more and i will hand them to her when i drop off son.

Sending stuff to her and emailing is not the way to go here only a face to face will work in my stich.

This will work better so she can read them first and no one will be able to laugh at it and give her a guilt trip about me giving it to her.

I did get a text from her last night at 6.30 saying that son wanted to talk to me. I did not return text.He if she really wanted me to talk to him she would of called.

Im expermiting here because when i did stop returning her texts and stuff a couple months ago she started calling people looking for me and being way nicer and wanting to talk.


Iv'e gave people advice here about going dark or dim and Lookin at their things that they posted in the past its time, I start taking my own advice!

I got to stay the corse on this!

Thanks Allen you have been a real freind!

[Allen A]

You can also go OUT for a night and not tell her where your'e going...

Give her an alternate number to call you for emergencies for the night... You need to do things to trigger her curiousity...

You can tell her later it was a business meeting :

If you are going to divorce me and our son then our finances are going to be a LOT tighter than they were before.. I am working on a new business and setting up an education fund for him... I really hate having to put our son through this, but at least I can give him a good education


Make sure you get lots of good articles...

Make sure you don't push the articles on her... just tell her you read them and out of respect for the marriage and your son you feel obligated to share the info with her... tell her you don't like the sound of any of it, but its important to educate yourself on what you're getting into

[Allen A]

SHe will tell you she's not divorcing her son, challenge her immeidatley that if she thinks your son won't be impacted by this she's uneducated and needs to do the proper research... The ENTIRE FAMLY goes through divorce, not just the parents...

[MrBond]

IMO I don't think giving her information is going to help. You said in another thread that you've "gone dark" and it isn't working. Certainly doesn't seem that way to me. It seems like you've been trying to contact her, but she's just ignoring you.

That's not going dark.

[twolf]

Day four no contact with The stbxy or son.Have not called to talk to son.

Got allot of papper work done. Went on a jog, did yard work and visted freinds.

Got my invitaions out for my pig roast cant wait!

[twolf]

I did go dark for few weeks then she started calling me to talk to son evry few days and we did have talks avout the son and diffrent things.

When i exposed to everyone that is when the shi& hit the fan.

I am in grey mode if it comes to the son i will return her call a few hours later.

[Allen A]

Yup, share the info with her when she approaches you... and share it casually.. if you try to push it on her or you initiate the idea of her doing research it won't go over well...

You have to play this by ear.. if she starts talking about divorce and not being sure what she's doing like she did earlier THAT's when you can say "I have some reading material here I was going over, I can share some of it with you i guess" and then offer it up... don't push it...

It may not help no, but its setting an example of adulthood and showing your wife again that you are putting your family first... I think its a smart move as long as you don't beat her over the head with the material.. if you do that she's never going to want to go near it

[twolf]

A little news on my stich.
Have not called or texted the stbxw in five days

Last night at 10.30 pm the stbxw called to have me talk to son she did not say anything but i know she had me on speaker phone.

I was in bed so i did not check caller I.D.

I talked to him to him for 3 min.
Told him that i loved him and good buy with out asking or talking to the stbxw.

I said hold on im talking to my son to play it off like i was out some where.

I wonder what is going through her mind calling that late of night.

We will see how far going dark will take meday 6.

[twolf]

Allen.... PDT...... Sandi


Any advice how i should procede here?

Im kind of at a loss with her putting a two month hold on the D and me going dark and not calling or texting to check on the son.

I mean her calling at 10.30 at night to let me talk to son is way out of the norm for her.

With her calling on a friday night was it her checking up on me?

She has not called or texted about going to more mediation about son.

She has not called about getting her stuff out of our home.

How do you keep DB with little or no contact putt it all on her i guess?

[MrBond]

twolf,

You're missing the point of going dark. You should call to talk to son. You're his father. In fact, if you stop contacting him, she's going to use that against you as an absent father.

Just don't talk to her about the day to day stuff. Stop asking her how she's doing, etc. Act as if you have better things to do.