navajo, as you've realized from reading this board, many other people are going through what you're going through. While knowing that won't solve your problems, it should give you some comfort that you're not alone.
Please take the advice of people here, too ... they've walked through this fire and have learned a lot through hard experience.
I understand your financial limitations (in the same boat myself): see if you can locate DB or DR at your local library. If not, look for a cheap used copy online at Amazon -- I picked one up for a few bucks and the reading is well worth it.
