Is Porn addiction like cheating?

[june72]

Hi Laura
I have absolutely no issues with porn and could care less if my hubby watched it. I think it did affect things in the marriage though. He was keeping it a secret, I really wouldn't care BUT- sex consisted of quickies and my needs were not being met. I made this known loud and clear that I need to enjoy the act too. I would have hissy fits, cry, rages etc. things would improve then slide back to the way they were. I would withhold sex stating there has to be mutual enjoyment and after a few weeks cave b/c I was feeling like a bad wife withholding and also I was dying for sex at that point. He always won the standoffs. Thing is- he was content to use porn instead of me. He stated that with porn you could be with as many woman as you want to be. Makes absolutely no sense to me but I guess for men porn can replace the real thing.....
Anyhow, he also was finding me really unattractive and was comparing me to the porn stars I think- I mean he thought 135 was too fat. And as soon as I got pregnant I could tell he was not happy with the added weight and the weight I gained after. Anyhow, things are good again and he has choosen to stop watching porn. He feels it can be "addictive"- his words not mine.

I still have no issues with porn- I just had no idea he was so secretive about it and if it REPLACES me then there is going to be a problem.

I really suggest you read up on all of Onthemountaintops early thread. Goes into length about porn issues. I posted more of my story there.

I thought I was fine about the past but yesterday I read yout post and I admit ugly tears of hurt can up. I felt rejected for so long. So many d@mn years. I was thinking that I didn't want to end the marriage (didn't want to hurt the kids) but maybe cheating was an option since my emotional needs and sexual needs were not being met and whenever I voiced my concerns it would be quite a fight. A big atomic blowout.

Anyhow- if porn is satisfying HIS sexual needs instead of you than- yeah, that is one hell of a problem and one that must be fixed or a dealbreaker in my book.

I had no idea how much porn my hubby was viewing since he hid it all.