Wayward FIL ... writes that he is devastated by the news of WH leaving me pregnant. Says the news has shattered the illusion he has held for 40 years that abandoning WH was morally conscionable.
Originally Posted By: Piano
WH was an 'accident'. They were young, a summer romance. MIL a pain in the butt. FIL saw it & thought he couldn't stand a life-time of that!
FIL was feeling so crappy about the whole thing that he put blinkers on and didn't have the guts to check in with WH and the whole sitch when WH was growing up and see if he could play a role in some way. In this, I agree, he is totally at fault. He is 67, lonely and has regrets.
I have yet to meet ANY man who abandonned his family who did not later regret it.
EVER.
They make every justification they can at the time because it allows them to leave guilt-free.
But it comes back to bite them. HARD!
My FIL regretted it (my MIL is a pain), my BFF's father regretted it (his wife was also a pain). Even my cousin, who's a year younger than me and fathered a child out of wedlock when he was 20 regretted it when he became a GRANDFATHER at 39 and saw his son repeating the pattern. That son is now 24 and has 4 kids by three different women, none of whom he married. "If only I'd been there!" my cousin often says.
Gee...YOU THINK?!!!
Unfortunately, you can't tell them one damn thing. They run away with no thought to the future and only regret their wrecklessness years later when they're not welcomed in their children's homes.
Perhaps, Piano - perhaps your FIL can have some impact on your WH. Unfortunately, he has no credibility because he ran off. But maybe he can get through to him. I sure hope so!
