How should I handle MLC direct lying?

[amg2]

Thanks Grace_O. I'm with you...I don't plan to bring it up again. Up until this point, it is my GUESS (can't read his mind but can logically deduce) that he has thought that IF I suspected ANYTHING, I wouldn't have the ability to stay calm, not confront. What he doesn't realize, is that I've detached and am changing, and have KNOWN he was blatantly lying about his actions and I smiled and said "see you later...have fun." He will lie about ANYTHING and thinks it will be believed. Always. His lying is amazing. He does not consider himself caught unless you have physical evidence of something. It's ridiculous. As much experience as he has lying, you'd think he'd be better at it for goodness sakes!

As far as filing, I'm jumping the gun by mentioning it. I think it will be me, at this moment, because I think he is spineless, pathetic, weak and not respectable. I don't, at this moment, think he's strong enough to D me or to step up and be accountable. I reserve the right to have different feelings tomorrow. At this moment, I feel like I want his "crazy making" further away from me. Yes I realize this is detachment. I have a good friend who very recently "jumped the gun" and filed for D. I have no idea why, as he desperately wants to be with his wife. It was completely a reaction. If I do file, it won't be out of reaction. But deadlines, the future, moving on, are floating about in the depths of my mind. I guess presenting my suspicions to him today seems to me like a step in the direction of a D. Really I guess it's not though...nothing new. I've been sitting on this solidly for over two months.

And as far as the family. Ughhh the dreaded exposure to family. Our parents have known from the d day. Most of his family (much smaller than mine) knows he is out of the house. However, my family (much larger, extended, lots of contact) does not know. I've lied for nearly 5 months with excuses and BS. It stresses me and isolates me from them. I've done it up to this point b/c 1)I wasn't ready or able to deal with them and 2) I didn't want him "punished" is we reconcile. I did a test run with a trusted, calmer family member today. We agreed I should say "We are separated. No decisions have been made. I will let you know when that changes. That's all I have to say." I do not want and cannot deal with them punishing him as a show of support for me. I expect this from some family members. I don't feel it is in MY best interest to continue lying though.

I'd appreciate input!