par, please keep coming back here as much as you need to ... a lifeline of support is so vital for you and anyone in your situation right now. Jack_Three_Beans actually gave you very good advice earlier: do something to take yourself OUT OF yourself. His advice was to confront a fear, which I believe is a good idea. But ANYTHING you do that is constructive or enlightening or gets you out among people and is also out of your comfort zone and different from what you usually do is a good idea.
Also, I know it's not necessarily comforting to know that others are hurting when you hurt so bad, but think of it this way: others HAVE hurt as bad, or worse (as hard as that might be to believe), than you and have come out of it better, stronger, sometimes even happier people than before. It's true and you have to believe that.
Please take care of yourself and take the advice you get here to heart. These people have walked through fire themselves ... they know.
