Completely Blindsided

[blind]

Hey Piano, what happened to your posts? I was about to reply to them, but they seem to have been deleted? I was going to say that it must be odd being back here, I'm not the biggest fan of this town, and I can't wait to back my things and head out again.

Having a bit of a low day after a fairly good weekend so far.

Friday night I had driving lesson (one more left), then headed down south of town with a work mate before staying round a friend's place for dinner and company.

I bussed back home (which took FOREVER), then headed to the dance champs, bought stupidly expensive shoes, and watched the dancing... and I think that's where the bad mood started. I'd invited a load of people to come watch with me, but all declined as either busy, or unable to (due to being married with small children)... so I was sat there, alone, wanting to share the moment with someone.

It kicked out at 10, which let me head to a mate's gig... though unfortunately his housemates and fiancee decided not to head out, so it was again me, alone... I didn't stay all night.

I've had a mate come up from out of town, a great mate who is very lovely. We chatted for a few hours, but she's had to get her kids home... so now that's me done. Midday on a Sunday and I have nothing to do. I need to get credit for my phone to call people, but I know most people are busy... and I really SHOULD rest my hand...

No reply from W, but she's house sitting for her mother at the moment, so may be busy with her friends in her home town.

I guess I'm just feeling disconnected. The drugs are making me a bit mellower, but partially because I don't really feel like I'm in my own skin. I'm just going through the motions on a lot of things, and mostly just feeling very lonely.

I've not cried in weeks now, but if I'm going to crack it's going to be today. I'm tempted to just roll back into bed and sleep away the rest of the weekend, at least Monday I'll have a bit of company.

Guess I'm just wallowing.