Ominus Bonus

[steady]

I was served with D papers yesterday (Friday 6/25). Of course it was full of lies, exaggerations and embellishments. I really didn't expect anything different.

Two weeks ago on Thurs 6/17, I got served with a temporary 'refrain from' order. It's absolutely nuts. That was filled with lies also. A few things that were in there:

1. 'We have had conversations about where she has been without her ever telling me where she had been. My W is afraid either I am following her or I have someone following her'.

Of course, no conversation ever took place. I really don't care what she does or where she goes. I have no interest in her personal life at all. As a matter of fact a few months ago she texted me that she her jury duty was done and they settled the case. I sent a return text saying I think she meant to send that to someone else. She replied it was for me and she wanted me to know what was going on. I replied that information was about her personal life and I don't need to know anything about her personal life.

2. 'Our S is severely allergic to bees and I often forget or just don't bother to take his epipen with me on outdoor outings'.

I have my kids alone all the time and my W is never there. How would she know if I have the epipen or not? Of course, I always have it because I'd never put my S at risk like that. The only time I didn't have it was for a Cub Scout campout and she knew that. It wasn't in it's usual spot so I txt my W to bring it with her. She was coming to meet us for the day with my D. I knew they outing had first aid and they had epipens. When I later asked my W where it was she told me she took it and forgot to put it back.

Also, it's never been proven he even has an allergy to bees. When he was around 1 his arm was read and it looked like he got bit or stung by something. My W found a dead bee in the living room and assumed it was a bee sting. The pediatrician told us there was no way to know if had an allergy to bees because it can develop at any time. So if the test came up negative, he could still have a reaction if he got stung.

3. 'Threats and harrassment have been ongoing throught the whole marriage'.

Come on now...

4. 'I have been texting/emailing/calling her all day and all night even though she repeatedly has asked me to refrain from this'.

In court my L presented the information I compiled about our text/email/phone calls. He told the judge if you look at the records you'll see that there are only small differences in the amount of texts we have both sent on a daily basis. Anywhere from equal to a difference of 10 to 20.

He also had a copy of all the emails we had sent back and forth over the past few months. No threats, no harassment, no constant emails from me.

There were other things in there that can be easily disproved but this list is enough to show where she is in making up stuff. She's desperate and she doesn't have anything real to go on so she is making stuff up.

We went to court on Thursday (6/24) for it. My W showed up with no lawyer and my lawyer was pretty surprised by that. He said he checked the docket and there was no lawyer listed for her.

It was supposed to be just a simple arraignment where the judge would basically find out if there were any objections to the court order, any simple motions, then set another court date.

My lawyer asked the judge to hear some motions he wanted to put into effect. He told the judge that the way my W wrote out her affidavit it sounded like the incident she was referring to happened last week. It actually happened at the end of Jan.

He filled her in that we were in front of her over a year ago with the first refrain from order which my W dropped. He told the judge had been working on a separation agreement and we voluntarily went through a forensic analysis.

He then presented an email where my W invited me to sleep over the house at the end of March for Easter so we could all get up and do their Easter baskets together.

The judge looked at the email and asked my W if she had anything to say about it. My W said she had a lot to say but she didn't think it was in her best interest without her lawyer present. She did say she only invited me to sleep over because I am always yelling at her that we need to do things as a family for the sake of the kids. The email reply I gave her said - "No thanks. There's no point in it. Like you told me, it's all fake anyway. When I talked to you about this kind of stuff last year you looked at me like I was an idiot." So much for me 'forcing' her to do that kind of stuff.

The judge then asked my W about another incident that my W had told her about when she was in front of her to secure the order. My W said it was an incident in the driveway of my brother's house where we argued, I followed her to her car and then didn't let her leave.

My lawyer asked my W when that incident occurred. My W said, "Hold on, I have it in here somewhere", and she proceeded to go through her paperwork. She then looked up and said, "I don't know - it happened sometime between Jan and now."

The judge asked my W where her counsel was. My W said, "I don't know." (In a whiny voice) Her lawyer wasn't even slated to come to court so she new he wasn't going to be there.

The judge was getting a bit annoyed at this point. She was ready to wrap it up and just set another court date.

My lawyer then asked the judge to amend the court order. He told the judge we had a custody rotation in place that has a bi-weekly schedule of a 50/50 sharing arrangement of our two children. He explained the schedule and told her we have been doing it since the end of January. He then asked the judge to put into the court order that this schedule was to continue.

My W started to get angry. I could see it in her face. My W said, "I never agreed to that rotation."

The judge said, "You didn't agree to it? You've been doing it for 5 months already."

My W said, "The Psychologist who did the evaluation told me it would only be for 2 to 3 weeks and I only did it because he (meaning me) wouldn't leave the house. The rotation we are doing isn't even the one he wrote in his final report"

The judge tole my W she needed to get her counsel present and we would set another date.

My lawyer then told the judge my W and I had agreed that I would take the kids to Colorado for a family reunion from July 1 to the 8th and he wanted that to be in the court order also.

My W said, "I only agreed to that because I found out there would be 10 other family members who would be there to take care of the kids." (Insinuating I can't take care of them myself. Meanwhile I have them every other weekend and multiple overnights during the week since Jan)

The judge asked where this whole thing is in the D proceedings. My lawyer said there were none.

My W then said, "I filed papers last week."

My L said, "We haven't gotten anything. My client hasn't been served yet." My W replied, "He was supposed to have been served by now. I don't know why he hasn't been."

The judge then told my L she didn't have jurisdiction to put those things in the order. The judge then said she was going to set a court date for August to address this order.

My L responded that he felt my W was using this refrain from order as a lever in the D court. My W said, "I only took this out because I was afraid how he would react when he got the papers." I don't think the judge heard this because you can't get an order based on some potential future event.

The judge then asked the clerk if there was an earlier date and the clerk gave a date at the end of July. The judge asked for an earlier one. The date was set for July 13th.

She amended the order and put in it that we are to continue the current visitation schedule until July 13th and the father is taking the kids on vacation from July 1 thru the 8th.

On the way out of court I hear my W's mother ask her, "How long does it take to served D papers?" My W said, "I don't know", in a very irritated snappy tone.

So this is my life. It's like I'm in the grandstand watching a circus. She's running around doing all this stuff, panicking, shooting from the hip, making up lies, re-writing the past and present events... it's almost comical. If it wasn't my life it would be a great comedy.

I really don't care if she serves me papers. At this point I have absolutely zero interest in spending any time with her, staying married to her, dating her, even talking to her.

I want my kids. I want equal time with my kids and she refuses to give that to me. I'll fight her on this till I get it. I don't care how long it takes or how much money it costs me. I am absolutely determined and committed to spend time with my children. Period.

I don't care about the house, the money, etc... I can always make more money or buy another house. I can never get back lost time with my children. It's bad enough that I'll only see them 50% of their lives with a 50/50 split. I don't want even less than that - but she is determined to just that.

A year and a half a go she told me she wanted to control when I can see my children. I was astounded. But it's right in line with her control issues. Back then she thought she'd give me every other weekend and one evening per week.(Not even an overnight - just after school until bedtime)

The actual example in the Psych report gave me the kids from Thu after school until Mon after school every other week. Then on the other week I would get them Tue and Thu after school till bed time and Wed overnight.

I posted above she even wanted to take the Wed overnight out. How sickening.

Anyway, this is a long enough post. I'm doing well. I'm rolling with the flow, having a great time with my kids and doing really well at work. My life is good in spite of what's going on with the legal stuff.