I mainly wanted to get the attention of those of you who thought it would be easier if there was OM in the picture. I knew you said that out of frustration. Just know that it wouldn't be easier, but much harder.
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I don't want to turn them off. I just can't wrap my head around why a LBS has to let go of those feelings? Maybe that's my problem. I still love my W more than anything. I am proud of myself that I haven't fallen back into depression and instead I have charged ahead making many positive changes.
Detachment seems to be the hardest part for the LBS to grasp. Maybe we don't do a very good job explaining, but it's kind of hard to do. Try to think of it as a different way of thinking. It's not that you're being told to stop loving your W. That's not it at all. You've not been told to be mean or cold hearted toward her. You've been told to think with a different attitude in order to be a stronger person, right? You've been told how to behave in a better manner, right? Who told you to stop having feelings? As long as they are strong, positive, healthy emotions then who could object to that? You have been advised how to DB and what will make you a better person. We're hoping that you will be much more attractive to your W, but if she presists in wannting a D...you will be strong instead of co-dependent of her. Isn't that what you want? Surely you do not want to be in an unhealthy R with her.
How can I help you wrap this around your head better?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
