Mrs. A--are you disappointed that it was postponed?
Hi NM,
Truth be told, I was incredibly relieved that it was postponed. I know we're just putting off the inevitable, but I was really happy about it. But I sure didn't let that on to Mr. A!!!
Remember the part in DR when they tell you to keep a solutions journal? They say to write down your immediate reaction and then write down your reaction a few days later.
Well, it's so funny how that works. The day that this all happened, I was feeling like Mr. A was so stoic and blocked. And in a way that made it easier to feel like we need to break apart. Like totally implode or explode, whatever.
But now that a couple of days have gone by, I remember another part. Before Mr. A's L got there and we all went in to see the judicial attorney, it was just Mr. A and me. He was sitting and I was standing in front of him, facing him. Normally in a situation like that, we probably would have been holding each others' hands. Obviously we weren't.
But still, Mr. A gave me this look that I love. It's a look I've seen a thousand times. It's the "I'm leaning on you" look.
Rationally, I know Mr. A can't lean on me anymore. But he has the most beautiful watery blue eyes. When I think about that look - just a couple of days ago now - I think this is all so WRONG!!!
I've read a lot about detachment, but how do you detach from THAT????
It just seems like you shouldn't get D'd unless the connection is gone - and for us, it's not.
