I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[newmama]

Thanks WN! I have reservations about visiting stbxh's grandma and other side of the family....will need to think about this more. Seems odd since we are getting divorced! Shouldn't stbxh be the one to take S to see his own family?

Yes, stbxh had a sham apartment! How did you know? I mean I knew he was renting an apartment 15 minutes away..but I also KNOW stbxh! He is one to spend every minute with his "lover" whether that was his ex wife, me, or the trampy ho.

I know who Joni Mitchell is! "You're so vain...." And the song you reference was redone by Counting Crows and Michelle Branch (oops- I think that is her name) for the movie "2 Weeks Notice" with Sandra Bullock. Anyway, that song has floated in my head for the last 2 years because of "you don't know what you got until it's gone" and then this part " a big yellow taxi took my girl away..." At first it was me- I felt heavy, intense guilt for taking stbxh for granted...there were times when things were not all rainbows and butterflies, just blah...and I remember thinking "do I love him?" so I felt immense guilt for thinking that, for working long hours, for not talking to him about my needs. And then he develops this attraction to OW and I think "I did this to myself. I lost him! I took him for granted! I didn't know how much I love and need him until another woman tried to take him!" The yellow taxi was OW.

Now I hear the song and think stbxh will be feeling that about me. My yellow taxi hasn't arrived yet.

You make a good point about teenagers. I admit, though, that I never understood them and am afraid of that period in my S' life. But I intend to prepare for it. SO your suggestion of how to get through to teenagers is VERY HELPFUL. I 100% believe stbxh is acting like one. Thank you! I need to absorb what you said and think about how to apply it.