She's not in her right mind and I feel like there's nothing I can do to change that.
Much of what you say is very true. You will not know this woman and it will drive you nuts if you try to figure her out. That is a waste of time & energy. You won't be able to talk her out of doing what she wants....and you won't be able to talk her into staying M to you.
Read Michele's article on the home page about WAW Syndrome. If you haven't read the Divorce Remedy book, get it.
Your W is not attracted to you and until she feels that sexual attraction again, she's not interested. So, what can you do to become a more attractive man? What did she like about you when she met you?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!