I do alot of things when I don't want to and not necessarily what I wanted to do for my significant other. Some of these things put pressure on me, some of them waste time and some make me feel uncomfortable.
My wife would say, yes, she does a lot of things for the family that are very helpful and appreciated. And she thinks that should at least partly make up for the lack of sex. And one of the things that I'm expected to do which makes me uncomfortable is put up with the lack of sex. It seems fair in her mind.
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I would expect that a wife who loves her husband and wants him to feel as a man should would allow penetrative sex at some reasonable frequency even if she doesn't necessarily feel like it.
Well, she buys me Playboy calendars and such. Better than nothing, she figures.
Giving herself to me to be "used" for sex might be a little tougher for someone who was sexually abused as a child. Or at least that's part of what she's using as an excuse.
There was an Oprah show some years ago about women and their loss of interest in sex in their marriages. The audience gasped when one woman in the focus group admitted that she watches TV when her husband is having sex with her. She responded to the audience by saying that, no, it's OK with him, and I just watch TV while he does his business. The biggest laugh, though, was when Oprah, out of curiosity, asked which show she would watch at those times. She confessed, Oprah!
