Gardener. Being a friend does not necessarily mean best pals/buds, it can also mean "friendly". No one can be a true friend to someone who has done what they've done to you and others here. True friends don't do what they've done and continue to do.
Do not second guess yourself. I've followed your postings and you've done everything you can to be friendly and supportive to your xw.
Move forward and some day, the dynamics of your communication/relationship w/your xw may change, but it won't be for a long time.
It's time to focus on you and your future.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
