Cainer sure is in tune with the universe! Freaky! It is nice to hear what you need to hear at the right time! Kinda like a big arrow that points at what we need to be looking into at the moment.
I believe MWD is right in her article when she says spouses need to be careful with what they say to others. One should not run around ranting and raving to anyone who will listen. Too many folks just enjoy listening for the entertainment value and for gossip fodder. That is not exposure either.
Exposure is carefully planned and executed to ensure support for your M. Red, I know you will be the first to admit that you did more of the hysterical ranting thing (perfectly normal response but damaging). For exposure to work, you must calmly inform that "my S is having an A with OW/OM and you want to save your M. Please encourage them to end their A, so that you can repair your M." No need to share gory details, personal feelings beyond this at this point. The response will tell you who can talk to about this as time goes on.
I found it very interesting (and somewhat hurtful too) to see who our real friends were. Some totally distanced themselves. Some stood up to H and OW. Some check in to 'hear the latest"; to these I respond with "nothing new, same ole stuff" or "I am not up to talking about it today" if they are persistent. I feel fortunate to have 2 girlfriends IRL that understand what I am doing and totally support me (and kisten to ranting while knowing I love my H). AND there is you guys who are living it with me!
My exposure did not end the A, but did have a negative effect. The AP's have no friends to socialize with as a couple. H tried to tell folks that I was awful, crazy, a shrew, whatever, but nobody bought it b/c they had already talked to an upset but calm BS who wanted to save her M.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
