Originally Posted By: ken5140 W wants to go to church because some old friends have come to visit and are going to be speaking, but OMW just called me to tell me that OM will be in church and not to "freak out". I can't keep W from going, so what should I do?
Every time both W and OM are there, they try to sneak off to the hallway together to talk.
How do I deal with the OM in church? Should I confront him? If so, how? OMW has called me twice asking me not to do what I did last week (call him a creep).
No no. The OMW doesn't get it. It is not your job to try and keep him & your W apart at church or any other place. If you have a RO, then it's his responsibility to keep his distance. OMW doesn't want any scenes caused but she'll put up with her H & your W secretely meeting in the hallway of the church? OM & your W certainly has no respect for where they are, do they? It is just another place for them to sneak around and get to see each other.
OM's W has proven that she is as spineless as jelly. You cannot afford to start trying to do her job for her.....you have your own to do. If she contacts you again, tell her that it is her H's decision and if he breaks the RO, then the police will be notified. It might cause a distrubance, but to me that is not as bad as the conduct that has been carried on there.
Don't confront OM at church, just notify the police immediately and have them deal with him. Stick to your plan, Ken. OM & your W will have to be shown that you mean business! They think you will back down, and that is exactly what OM'W is trying to get you to do. I think OM is behind her pleading with you!
Last edited by sandi2; 06/26/1003:22 PM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
It goes back to boundaries. Have you established boundaries with her concerning the OM?
It sounds like you and the OMW are powerless. Not so. Has she ever tried stopping her H?
They've BOTH been powerless, thru this entire ordeal.
Good lord.
Puppy
It's not just those two Pup, the church heads aren't doing anythign about OM shoving Ken in a church either.. OM should have been BANNED on the SPOT for that... A bunch of spineless hypocrites running that church I say...
Sandi, I don't have a RO yet. The court said I couldn't get one on a non-family member, but I may be able to get a stalking injunction, so I'll try that next week.
I'll go to church, but W doesn't let me hold her hand. I haven't touched her for months now. And Allen is right, the church people are not much help when I have to deal with OM in church.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
Thanks Allen for advising me to expose to our visiting friends. That helped us to avoid some major problems. They actually helped us avoid much contact with the OM today, although W did go up to talk to him at one point and I just went to stand beside her and didn't say anything.
I'm starting to think that it's very possible that W was planning to meet up with OM on the trip that she was planning to Puerto Rico, because our friends have almost convinced her to use her vacation time to visit them instead (with me and the kids) and when they left from visiting us, W went out (I think to call OM because that's what she does when she won't tell me where she's going).
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
W wanted to go to Puerto Rico to visit her sister who is divorcing. But our visitors today may have convinced her to not go, but to rather have her sister come visit us and go on vacation with us travelling around like we did last year. She is on the phone with her sister now. I think she is trying to convince her.
Before she called her, she said to me, "If we do this, don't think that our relationship is automatically fixed. I'd be doing it for the kids." I said, "Does that mean you're still not willing to fix our relationship or not necessarily?" She responded, "Not necessarily." So I take that as a minor good sign.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
