Originally Posted By: pie
The urge to ignore him completely and show him the pain he caused me can be overwhelming.


As we speak of DBing and acting "as if" 180's etc. IMO you should not look at these as tactics.

They are more tools.

Tools to help you stop the chaos that has become your M so that YOU can get to a healthy place.

Originally Posted By: pie
And I dont know if my 'as iffing' is all in vein.


It will be if you are focusing on your H.

Again this is not a tactic.

Focus on YOU and make real changes for you which then gives your M a chance.

Originally Posted By: pie
He's always said he hopes we can still be friends, and I feel like he feels thats just what he's getting. Not that I want to be mean to him.


What are you getting?

Pie the focus needs to turn back to you. If being "friends" with him makes that process difficult then you may not want to be that way for a while.

This is the detachment process and it is for you and you only.

It is not to manipulate H

Or punish H.

Or some magical silver bullet that will save your M.

Welcome that old soul, YOU back into your life.

Don't let anything get in your way.

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am