Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

Slept for about 9 and a half hours last night, feeling a bit better. Now the day looms long before me.

Had some dreams about H, though. It seems whenever I dream of him I wake up somber.

In the first dream I was babysitting H and OW's daughter, and in the bedroom were two twin beds with a space on the floor between them. Since I didn't have a crib I put the baby on a blanket on teh floor to sleep for the night then got into one of the beds. I reached out towards the other bed and H appeared there, I took his hand and could feel it warm and strong in mine. Then he disappeared. So I reached out again and H reappeared, leaning across the space to kiss me hungrily and then he disappeared again.

In the second dream I dreamt that it was Christmas Eve and H had brought OW to my family's house for the evening. They were sitting on the couch talking about how they were having twins, a boy and a girl and everyone just adored OW. Meanwhile I was in teh kitchen having a fit. I called my brother's girlfriend into the laundry room to ask her if it was ok for me to hate OW and she didn't have an answer for me. She liked OW so much she couldn't see how anyone could hate her.

So yeah, not feeling too much PMA this morning.